Four stages of getting old
Question: BELOVED OSHO, LAST NIGHT AS YOU WERE GIVING SUTRAS FOR DEVAGEET TO CONTEMPLATE, YOU WENT DIRECTLY FROM THE THIRD TO THE FIFTH, WITHOUT SPEAKING ABOUT THE FOURTH. IS THERE SOME SIGNIFICANCE IN THIS?
Sarito, I don’t know much arithmetic… that’s why I continuously go on counting on my fingers! But that is the original way. That’s why there are ten digits in every language — man started to count on his fingers. Because there are ten fingers, that’s why ten is the basic number in all languages.
I am an original man.
But aside from that, there was really something significant. The fourth I have saved for you. So now I will have to begin from the fourth.
The fourth is: There are four stages of getting old.
First, when you forget names.
Second, when you forget places.
Third, when you forget to zip up.
And fourth, when you forget to zip down.
The fifth sutra for you: A ninety-three-year-old man married a ninety-one-year-old lady and they spent the first three days of their honeymoon just trying to get out of the car.
Sixth: Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends — and have begun to grow in the middle.
Seventh: An optimist is a man who goes to the window every morning and says, “Good morning, God!”
The pessimist goes to the window every morning and says, “Good god — morning!”
Eighth: There are two ways to be rich. One is to have all you want, the other is to be satisfied with all you have.
Now I have forgotten the number… I assume it is ninth: Freedom is a great thing. It means a man is free to do just what his wife pleases.
Tenth: A man does not stop playing because he grows old, he grows old because he stops playing.
Eleventh: Tolerance is sometimes the uncomfortable feeling that the other person may be right after all.
Twelfth: To have average intelligence is to be less stupid than half of the people and more stupid than the other half.
… My god, I have forgotten the number! I hope it is thirteenth:
If all else fails, give up.
Fourteenth: It is always best not to tell people your troubles. Half of them are not interested, and the other half are glad you are getting what is coming to you.
Fifteenth: When Henry Ford was asked for the recipe for a long and happy marriage, he replied: “Always stick to the same model.”
Sixteenth: A man who can smile when things go wrong has probably just thought of someone to blame it on.
Seventeenth: Inscription on the tombstone of a notorious hypochondriac: “See!”
Eighteenth: A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.
Nineteenth: The definition of alimony: “The screwing you get for the screwing you got.”
Twentieth: The ten best years of a woman’s life are between thirty-five and thirty-six.
-The Great Pilgrimage: From Here to Here, Osho